Most of us would have taken sabbaticals from our professional lives for various reasons. Sometimes it could be due to an injury, a loss, change in relationship status, moving out of the country etc., but one of the most challenging one for me was the one after having a baby. In the earlier mentioned scenarios all I needed to do was to focus on ‘myself’ which definitely felt harder at that time, but now I had to focus on an entire family where most often than not ‘I’ beacame the last priority.
I am sure most of us can easily relate to this! In addition to adjusting with the new office, new work, new rules, new language and colleagues, there was one person back home who needed all the attention. The good news is, that in a week or two you will find your rhythm. So the questions is how do we get there?
I was getting back to work after two years! This meant that my baby was used to seeing me when ever she felt the need. Mommy was right there! Just as I received the offer to work, she started sneezing! Am not being superstitious here, but what it meant was that I had one more additional thing to worry about - is she going to fall sick now? What a timing! But thankfully it was a false alarm, and it was my mommy brain overthinking and over stressing as always! Listed below are few of the things that helped me have a smoother transition:
Tip#1: Do Not Stress over things that are NOT in your control!
There are somethings that you can do which in the long run will make things smooth sailing. The rest, the ones you cannot control DON’T fret about it.
Tip#2: Always PRIORITISE - at work and at home!
Focus on what needs immediate attention and see what can be pushed/ paused. I realised that I cannot bring work home. This meant I have to really focus at work, take less breaks and I also had shorter lunch breaks. But one day in a week is my cheat day - I do what I want to, the way I want to!
Tip#3: PLAN, PLAN & PLAN!
For peace and sanity to prevail, 3 things have to be sorted at home for me - food, sleep & spending quality time with your loved ones. It helps if you can shop in bulk over the weekend. I cook everyday, but a more sensible thing to do would be to cook in bulk and may be freeze the food, its also wise to push the chores like house cleaning to weekends and sharing responsibilities with your partner takes half the load off your shoulders! My daughter pitches in too, but at this age that only means more quality time spent with her:) In India I would have had the luxury to have a maid and the privilege of having grandparents around. Here I do not!
Tip#4: EXPLAIN your limitations/situation to your boss
What I meant with this is that, workplaces are beginning to understand what the limitations are when you are a working mom. You can always tell them that work/ deadlines will never be compromised, but your working hours need to be flexible. Most of them should be willing to accommodate your needs as long as their work is beautifully delivered. Ensuring quality over quantity is the key!
Tip#5: STOP COMPARING!
You have seen some FB post of a mom having it all. Remember that its the best moment in her day that she is highlighting in the post and not her entire life! My idea is to take inspirations from them and carve out your own ‘perfect’ stories. Every mom is unique in her own way and just know that your kid will never want to trade you for anything at least till he/she enters his/her teens! HOPEFULLY!
Tip#6: EXPLAIN to your child!
Children most times are capable of understanding much more than what we assume. Explain to them that it’s mommy’s time to do what she loves to do. She will go to office and COME BACK! Just the way you go to play school, mommy goes to work!
Tip#7: MOMMY GUILT is real
This one I constantly struggle with. I do need advice, but I feel that there is no quick-fix solution to it. Perhaps accepting and knowing that you are doing the best for your child helps! But then there are days when NO logic enters your brain.
Tip#8: SHARE & know you are not alone!
Lastly its important to share and care. To know that we are not alone is rewarding. Talk to your friends, fellow mommies, confidants, spouses and remember to take care of yourself.
Hope this post shed some light on how to have a ‘smooth return’ to the professional life! Do share your interesting mommy stories and feel free to comment below:)